Feeling: APPREHENSIVELY EXCITED
APPREHENSION – noun; 1. Anxiety or fear that something bad or unpleasant will happen; 2. Relating to perception or understanding.
EXCITEMENT – adjective; 1. Very enthusiastic and eager; 2. In an energy state higher than the normal or ground change.
Well cadets, today signals the solo sojourn to India & Nepal; I shall be busting into an ashram for 4x weeks starting Aug 1, then shall traipse the Northern Terrain on my lonesome for a touch before hustling to Nepal for a 12-day trek up Mt Everest. Armed with the essentials: broken in hiking boots, eons of yoga attire, multiple Indian phrases taught to me by the boys at work & the XE app to figure out the deal with rupees. Faaaaantastic!
While there is intense excitement corsing through me, the last few days have given rise to my great old buddy – apprehension. This trip is going to be confronting. I have always coped by being a great escaper, blocking out unideal feelings completely, but for the next wee while this won’t be an option. Initially, this inability to duck emotions was a huge factor in booking this trip; I want to face things head on, maybe mature a bit. But now I’m a bit freaked out at this notion. It’s going to be challenging.
And to be honest – such a privileged, Western thing to highlight as one of the “most-missed” – I am going to pine for my On Demand Coro St. Just under two months with no Steve MacDonald! It will be quite the emotional turmoil. But seriously, I’m going all out with this. Aside from my cellular device to hustle the odd message to friends and family so they know I’m alive and to upload a few blog posts and photos, I’m leaving all behind. My suitcase is filled with minimal and basic clothes, pens and paper for writing and no makeup aside from one eyeliner (a necessity I’m afraid – none at all and I resemble a six-year-old boy).
So it begins. How better to mark the milestone than with a standard pic of me jumping in the air in the backyard?