Feeling: FRUSTRATED, AGITATED, IRRITABLE
Meditation. It’s said to be the road to enlightenment, the ending of thoughts, the destruction of primal ignorance – avidya – and the realisation of and establishment in the essential nature of the self. But bloody hell, it’s a bitch.
It’s all very well being adamant that I’m going to be present in each and every moment, but actually doing so is fucking difficult.
Example. This morning during yoga, relaxation, pranayama and the ending meditative state.
Be in the moment Poppy.
Focus on your breathing.
Be in the moment.
From this moment, Shania Twain.
Deb and Simon’s wedding anniversary song. Wonder how they are? Did the kids like New Caledonia?
Stop it!! Be in the moment. Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out. Focus on your body. Lengthen your muscles. Stretch your knees.
Ooh, I need to put in my diary to get that Nike knee brace when I get home.
Hmm, will I get the transit hotel in Singapore on the way home or just do the transit lounge? What should I take in my carry on? I wonder how much room a sari will take up. Maybe I could wear it on the plane? That’ll look fetching with my hiking boots.
Omg stop it! Be in the moment. Focus on your breathing. Focus on your body. Breathe in. Breathe out.
Crap, I didn’t put my washing on. Will need to do it after breakfast. I wonder how long the cycle takes? Could hang it out before anatomy if it’s half an hour or so. Want to make sure I get it out of the machine so I can hustle my undies to my room to hang to dry. Don’t want the men having to handle them and get all embarrassed, or worse yet, swindling them in their pocket.
Poppy stop it! Be in this moment. Right now. RIGHT NOW. Ommmm. Ommmmm. Ommmmmmmmm.
And so it goes on.
It really begs for the beautiful saying I first read about fifteen years ago on my Babcia’s mass programme:
Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the PRESENT.
Time to immerse myself in unwrapping! But holy shit it’s testing.