Feeling: F R E E & UNCONSTRAINED

  

  
Feeling: F R E E & UNCONSTRAINED

You know how sometimes you can pinpoint the exact moment something was altered forever? It happened for me this evening.
 
I find it incredibly hard to go with the flow. Every night I schedule my tomorrow with a plan of attack, which I find extremely difficult to deviate from even slightly. If I have it in my diary that I’m going to the gym at 6am, then I’m going to the gym at 6am. Should something throw this in disarray I get completely out of whack.
 
So as usual, I had a regimented plan for my day which I followed to the t. After yoga finished at 6.20pm tonight, I was going to go for a half hour run, have a shower, go to Ganeesh Aaarti,  have dinner, write a blog post, note out a chapter, google some definitions and do my nightly exercise and stretching regime. I had just pulled on my hiking boots for my trot up and down the driveway when I saw Eva locking her door. 

“Going downstairs?” I asked.
“No, im going round the corner to this clinic I found to see about my back pain,” she said. “Want to come?”

The “thanks but no thanks” burbled up, excuses swirled at the tip of my tongue, ED out in his two cents guilting me that I needed to burn more calories. I went to respond with denying the offer, and was shocked at what came out instead. 
“Yes,” I said calmly. “I’d love to.”

I honestly had so much fun. We chatted, laughed, splashed about in the rain and made plans (but in a loose, more suggestion-type way) to go out to the nearby busy Lakshman Jhula tomorrow to explore. 
Fuck the run. I’m realising it’s so much more rewarding to be with people than to tick off a to-do list at the end of everyday. Turning point? Slowly, but absolutely, 100 per cent, undoubtedly surely. 


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