Feeling: SORRY FOR MYSELF

  
Feeling: SORRY FOR MYSELF

You know my second-to-last previous post, where I bleeted on about the importance of listening to and honouring your body? How I enthused about my turning over a new leaf (sorry to use such a cliche clause), of starting to only push myself as I was able on the given day? 

Yeah? 

Nah. 
I woke up and was all stiff and sore (thinking as a result of my jandal jog, yarn to come). I had a twinge of a tension headache, my left knee was on the swollen side and I knew I wasn’t quite right. So what did I do? 

You got it. I went to yoga. 

It was also because I didn’t want to hurt the instructor’s feelings by being a no-show. He’s such a gentle soul and I didn’t go yesterday; rising super early, I did my own set of asanas at sunrise then went for a run instead of his class. He looked so mortally wounded when I said I wouldn’t be present, so today I felt slighytly obligated. 

Of course I could’ve taken it easy. Done the less challenging asanas then lay in child’s pose or shavasana for the more taxing. But Pop is proud. 

Now I’m lying in bed, ice pack on and feeling  incredibly sorry for myself. 

During the third set of surya namaskara (sun salutation) as I was rounding into cobra, my rib suddenly made this big popping sound, my knee cracked and oh, hello floor! 

It’s hard to alter habits, especially when they are so embedded and ingrained in you. I mean almost 24 years of pushing to be perfect at everything isn’t going to change over night. It’s going to be a gradual process. 

It’s slowly becoming aware of samskara or blueprints and impressions. It’s consciously going against the tide until it becomes an unconscious act. 

I’m meant to have an hour-long yoga class at 11am then two hours again at 4.30. Plus I want to chuck in a run after that. I’m in two minds at the moment. 

A massive chunk of me is snidely saying, “Not go? Rack off, you’ll be there doing everything full force”. But a wee whisper is gaining volume, telling me to consider the fact I’ve got a 12-day trek up Everest coming up. Do I want to jeopardise that? Hmmmm. Conundrum! 

Poppy Wortman; broadcasting one thing and doing the contrary since aaaaaaaaaages ago. 
 


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